Saturday, January 16, 2010

The Thinking Mother: Thoughts about Parenting Kids in Times of Terrorism

The Thinking Mother: Thoughts about Parenting Kids in Times of Terrorism

I agree with you as well. On 9/11 we were living in Hamden and my then 4 year-old daughter was in a daycare in Branford. They let these very young kids watch the news broadcasts for a couple of hours before someone finally got some sense and had the kids go out and play. Most of the kids were picked up early that day; by the time I got there at 4:30, there was only one other child besides mine there. Fortunately, I don't think that she suffered any ill effects, but we certainly would have preferred that she not be exposed to those images at that time. I guess that many people that day were so shocked that they weren't thinking straight.

4 comments:

Eli Blake said...

My kids were in their kindergarten class and the principal at the time had everyone watch. We had a good talk about it later in the day.

I don't have a problem conceptually with kids knowing what's out there, everything from terrorism to crime to internet based child molesters. Knowlege is the most powerful defense you can give them, and conversely lack of knowlege may mean they will be that much more shocked and traumatized the next time something horrible happens.

I've been going over to a neighbor's house once a week with one of my daughters to tell them a bedtime story because they were traumatized one day when they were out taking a walk with their mother and she was attacked by two pit bulls (actually they went after the kids first and she jumped on the dogs and took the attack herself to protect them-- they had to stand there and watch her get ripped apart for several minutes until one of our other neighbors realized what was going on and beat them off of her with a crowbar.) It's tough trying to help kids who have had a traumatic experience get over it. They are still afraid of dogs, though their mom bought them a chihuahua to help them with that. But I'm learning these kids are resilient and want to get over it and move forward.

Eli Blake said...

Story on the attack is here though they got some details wrong in the story.

Eli Blake said...

Interesting corollary to all of this:

Our church has a standard not to watch R-rated movies. So Leah has vowed to never watch one.

However the reasons for a rating itself can vary widely and in particular movies of an historical bent are often only reflecting reality.

One example of that is 'The Patriot,' a movie some years back about the Revolutionary War. There is a scene where while the father of a family is away, a redcoat came to the door and the ten year old boy shoots him with a musket. That was often the brutal reality of the time, but since it showed a minor shooting somebody it automatically gets an 'R' rating (a rule that was put in place while 'gansta' movies, often featuring gang fights with guns started to become popular.)

Another example is 'Schindler's List.' Leah refuses to watch it (though she knows a lot about the Holocaust) because it is rated 'R.' The reason for the rating is because people who were herded into the gas chambers were told to take off their clothes first and the movie shows that-- but it is not the kind of nudity that the people who write the rules had in mind when they said that nudity should get an 'R' rating automatically.

jacsuza said...

Schindler's List may have also gotten the "R" rating due to some sex scenes (between Goeth and his mistress) as well as the violence. If you ever think your daughters should watch this, I would recommend getting it on DVD, locating the problematic parts and using the fast-forward button.

Rachel (my older one.12 and in 7th grade) has seen it this year as part of her integrated history/Judaics curriculum. We saw it originally when it came out in the theaters and own it on DVD. (I'll admit that I have more trouble watching it now that I'm a parent. However, it is absolutely a very powerful movie that everyone should see, at least once.)